Dealing With the Holidays (Boundaries in Relationships)

Dealing with the holidays isn’t easy.

Every adult experiences a certain amount of stress during the holidays: there’s shopping to do, presents to wrap, meals to plan, and travel to contend with, sometimes during bad weather. The combination of disrupted schedules and unexpected expenses can make things challenging.

However, for some people, the stress does not begin or end there.

The holiday season is heavily family-centric, which can be a painful reality for those whose family relationships are less than ideal.

Challenging family dynamics may take this fundamentally good thing—a holiday—and infuse it with unpleasant and difficult feelings. It’s a tough situation to contend with or explain, especially if someone hasn’t experienced it for themselves.

We at Whole-Self Wellness are intimately familiar with how difficult the holidays can be. We want you to know that if you're struggling right now, you are not alone.

Let’s explore some generalized strategies for dealing with the holidays.

Evaluate: Is This Still The Best Way?

Holiday rituals are best when they're meaningful and uplifting.

Recall what you did during the holidays last year. Did you follow any family traditions or attend get-togethers?

Before repeating things this year, ask yourself: Is this tradition still serving me?

In some situations, you may want to evaluate if attending a certain function is worthwhile or if staying home to build new traditions would be more meaningful.

Remember, you don't have to keep doing something just because you did it once (or a dozen times) before. You always have a choice.

Set Realistic Expectations and Boundaries

If you do decide to attend an event, keep your expectations grounded and define boundaries clearly. Plan ahead for what you'll do and how much time you'll spend there.

Physical Boundaries and Exit Strategy

Drive yourself to functions and park strategically so you can leave on your own terms. If your destination is too far to return home on the same day, book a hotel room instead of staying with relatives.

Take breaks from social interactions by visiting the bathroom to breathe, going for a short walk, or dropping into the kitchen to help out.

Decide in advance how long you’ll stay and when you intend to leave.

Emotional Boundaries

Set a clear, compassionate goal for interactions, focusing on connection over conflict. Use “I” statements with a positive inflection, such as “I would prefer we keep the conversation light.” Pre-prepare brief statements for disarming intrusive questions or comments. When possible, redirect questions, “I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”

Remember, it’s okay to say, “I don’t want to talk about it,” or simply, “No.”

Give yourself permission to walk away.

After Dealing with the Holidays

Don’t expect your life to instantly go back to normal once the stress is over. Plan some downtime and self-care for after the holidays.

Build a support system of your own choosing, and keep in contact with them through and after the holidays. 

Finally, build your own traditions. Find ways to celebrate that truly serve you and help you feel the positive spirit of the holidays.

Remember, boundaries aren't about keeping people out: boundaries prioritize healthy connections.

Struggling with the holidays? Come talk to us. We're here to listen.

You've got this.

Disclaimer: The insights and suggestions shared in this post are intended for informational and inspirational purposes only, drawing from holistic wellness perspectives to support your journey toward greater balance and self-compassion. They do not constitute professional medical, psychological, or therapeutic advice. If you're navigating deeper emotional challenges, grief, or relational difficulties, we warmly encourage you to reach out to a qualified mental health professional, counselor, or trusted support service for personalized guidance. At Whole-Self Wellness, we honor your path and are here to walk alongside with empathy and resources tailored to your wholeness.